CATCHING UP ON TWITTER

So my newest idea...some of these fighters are hilarious. Heres the best the past couple days worth of tweets from Miguel Torres.



I don't read instruction manuals, I write them.
12:48 AM Aug 15th


The only instruction in my manual is, 'If he dies he dies'. That's in my manual on "How to Win A War".
12:54 AM Aug 15th


Everywhere I travel I see greatness all around. I also see that life is far from fair,so much needless suffering and pain.
4:04 PM Aug 15th


Let them eat cake, I just want some tacos.
4:45 PM Aug 15th


Just cause its a theme song dont mean its not true.
5:47 PM Aug 15th


Twitter has spoken, I will go see The Expendables. If it is not good I will become a festering pool of rage.
8:36 PM Aug 15th


Every move I make is cold and calculated. The only mistake Ive made was not making more moves.
8:50 PM Aug 15th



Just got a chubby... http://twitpic.com/2f6qbc (NOTE: THE LINK HE POSTED WAS FOR THE FILM "MACHETE" STARRING DANNY TREJO, WHICH DOES LOOK AWESOME!!)
11:14 PM Aug 15th


@MiguelTorresMMA I heard they based Machete on the Miguel Torres story. True? via Twitterrific in reply to MiguelTorresMMA Retweeted by MiguelTorresMMA
11:16 PM Aug 15th


Best pick up line I ever heard, "Does this rag smell like chloroform?" Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
4:54 PM Aug 16th


What I learned from watching The Expendables: I need a loud shotgun, sharp knife, and a crew of 50 yr olds to watch my back.
8:41 PM Aug 16th


Just got out of wrestling practice. The only game the Russians play is kill. Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
about 22 hours ago


@robinblackmma he says his balls still hurt, your a bastard, and thank you?
about 20 hours ago


I will be back and when I come I will come hard.
about 18 hours ago



Some men are born to get hard, others are made to just stay home and watch.
about 18 hours ago


Heading to New York to be on @VsTheDailyLine, stay tuned, I am going to punch @arielhelwani in the neck.
about 7 hours ago


If this vans a rockin, open the door and come on in...#Imjustsaying #note2females
about 7 hours ago


On the plane, female next to me has a thicker mustache than me, I'm so jealous.
about 7 hours ago


New York, allow myself to introduce myself...again.
about 7 hours ago


Ah, back in the states for a day. The smell here is all too familiar, I thinks its all the tears and broken dreams.
about 5 hours ago

UFN 22 CHANGE IN FIGHT CARD

Just taking a moment to vent! Mac Danzin had to pull out of UFN 22 due to injury. Matt Wiman will now be fighting Efrain Escudero. This makes me sad. I was looking forward to a rematch. Its good that hes not fighting injured, because my guess is that this next fight might be his last chance in the UFC...if he doesn't win, I'm afraid hes going to get cut. I don't want that....hes awesome...and VEGAN!!! So I guess its important that hes fit to fight...but still, I'm disappointed!

This Is Gonna Hurt...

Let the Sonnen withdrawal begin. Buddy boy beat the hell out of Silva for 23 minutes at UFC 117, earning the respect of every decent MMA fan in the process, and got a 60 day no-contact medical suspension for his troubles. That's right, two whole months bereft of Chael-y goodness. Oh, the horror! The humanity!

Luckily, we have plenty of random video to keep us entertained until our boy Chael is back in fighting form...like this little gem, which beautifully illustrates my contention that grappling pants just look silly on everyone.

In addition to everyone's favorite Republican, the following fighters were also given medical suspensions according to MMAJunkie (click for more details, yo):

• Anderson Silva
• Junior Dos Santos
• Roy Nelson
• Dustin Hazelett
• Phil Davis
• Charlie Brenneman
• Tim Boetsch
• Todd Brown
• Stefan Struve
• Christian Morecraft
• Dennis Hallman
• Ben Saunders

MMAJunkie.com also has a pretty good explanation of post-fight checkups and medical suspensions in the comments section, which you can go directly to by clicking here. Because we know you're lazy, and we love you anyway.

ALL HAIL CHAEL!!!!

This newest feature, I'd like to think of as "Chael as needed." Enjoy!