Wednesday, August 18, 2010

CATCHING UP ON TWITTER

So my newest idea...some of these fighters are hilarious. Heres the best the past couple days worth of tweets from Miguel Torres.



I don't read instruction manuals, I write them.
12:48 AM Aug 15th


The only instruction in my manual is, 'If he dies he dies'. That's in my manual on "How to Win A War".
12:54 AM Aug 15th


Everywhere I travel I see greatness all around. I also see that life is far from fair,so much needless suffering and pain.
4:04 PM Aug 15th


Let them eat cake, I just want some tacos.
4:45 PM Aug 15th


Just cause its a theme song dont mean its not true.
5:47 PM Aug 15th


Twitter has spoken, I will go see The Expendables. If it is not good I will become a festering pool of rage.
8:36 PM Aug 15th


Every move I make is cold and calculated. The only mistake Ive made was not making more moves.
8:50 PM Aug 15th



Just got a chubby... http://twitpic.com/2f6qbc (NOTE: THE LINK HE POSTED WAS FOR THE FILM "MACHETE" STARRING DANNY TREJO, WHICH DOES LOOK AWESOME!!)
11:14 PM Aug 15th


@MiguelTorresMMA I heard they based Machete on the Miguel Torres story. True? via Twitterrific in reply to MiguelTorresMMA Retweeted by MiguelTorresMMA
11:16 PM Aug 15th


Best pick up line I ever heard, "Does this rag smell like chloroform?" Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
4:54 PM Aug 16th


What I learned from watching The Expendables: I need a loud shotgun, sharp knife, and a crew of 50 yr olds to watch my back.
8:41 PM Aug 16th


Just got out of wrestling practice. The only game the Russians play is kill. Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
about 22 hours ago


@robinblackmma he says his balls still hurt, your a bastard, and thank you?
about 20 hours ago


I will be back and when I come I will come hard.
about 18 hours ago



Some men are born to get hard, others are made to just stay home and watch.
about 18 hours ago


Heading to New York to be on @VsTheDailyLine, stay tuned, I am going to punch @arielhelwani in the neck.
about 7 hours ago


If this vans a rockin, open the door and come on in...#Imjustsaying #note2females
about 7 hours ago


On the plane, female next to me has a thicker mustache than me, I'm so jealous.
about 7 hours ago


New York, allow myself to introduce myself...again.
about 7 hours ago


Ah, back in the states for a day. The smell here is all too familiar, I thinks its all the tears and broken dreams.
about 5 hours ago

UFN 22 CHANGE IN FIGHT CARD




Just taking a moment to vent! Mac Danzin had to pull out of UFN 22 due to injury. Matt Wiman will now be fighting Efrain Escudero. This makes me sad. I was looking forward to a rematch. Its good that hes not fighting injured, because my guess is that this next fight might be his last chance in the UFC...if he doesn't win, I'm afraid hes going to get cut. I don't want that....hes awesome...and VEGAN!!! So I guess its important that hes fit to fight...but still, I'm disappointed!

Monday, August 16, 2010

This Is Gonna Hurt...

Let the Sonnen withdrawal begin. Buddy boy beat the hell out of Silva for 23 minutes at UFC 117, earning the respect of every decent MMA fan in the process, and got a 60 day no-contact medical suspension for his troubles. That's right, two whole months bereft of Chael-y goodness. Oh, the horror! The humanity!

Luckily, we have plenty of random video to keep us entertained until our boy Chael is back in fighting form...like this little gem, which beautifully illustrates my contention that grappling pants just look silly on everyone.

In addition to everyone's favorite Republican, the following fighters were also given medical suspensions according to MMAJunkie (click for more details, yo):

  • Anderson Silva
  • Junior Dos Santos
  • Roy Nelson
  • Dustin Hazelett
  • Phil Davis
  • Charlie Brenneman
  • Tim Boetsch
  • Todd Brown
  • Stefan Struve
  • Christian Morecraft
  • Dennis Hallman
  • Ben Saunders
MMAJunkie.com also has a pretty good explanation of post-fight checkups and medical suspensions in the comments section, which you can go directly to by clicking here. Because we know you're lazy, and we love you anyway.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

ALL HAIL CHAEL!!!!

This newest feature, I'd like to think of as "Chael as needed." Enjoy!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

TOP TEN

TOP TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT ANDERSON SILVA

10. His stupid almost-beard

9. His hat has the sticker on it still. WTF! You buy the hat, take off the sticker, to show people its been purchased, NOT stolen off the rack, it looks STUPID.

8. At LEAST twice, once in the press conference and once in the aftermath of the acvtual fight he started a statement out with "This is not an excuse but..." and talked about being injured in training, and offered that as a reason for sucking.

7. He keeps making this "ahhhhhh" noise like he has to think about his words...come on dude...its being translated...you pick one or the other, either you don't understand the English, and make that annoying noise, or you have it translated to Portuguese translation and answer some time today.

6. Theres probably more he said to hate but I don't know. Whoever weas translating was translating wrong, well not necessarily wrong, but he was leaving things out. He was leaving out whole parts, even my limited knowledge of Portuguese, I heard a lot that wasn't being said, and understood a couple half statements

5. He totally found a way to mention in the press conference that his grandmother just died...what does that have to do with fighting!?

4. His backwards hat and bright pink shirt at the pre-fight press conference.

3. Sonnen is right, he CAN speak English. Thats not my issue. I know its hard to understand in a language that is NOT your native language. I am actively trying to learn Portuguese, and its rough. HOWEVER he can speak English. He can speak English right up till someone asks him a question he doesn't want to answer...then he needs a translator. I may be biased, but take Wanderlei Silva for example, he needed a translator...then he kept speaking English....and didn't need a translator anymore. I guess what I'm saying is that I understand the translator, but I don't understand pretending to not understand things that you do understand. You can even tell that he understands the questions people ask him, BEFORE the translator translates...and I understand understanding and speaking are different, but I'm just not buying it.

2. His obnoxious voice

1. He beat Chael Sonnen on a fluke, and devestated him. I HATE Silva so much that I'm beyond words. I am full of rage and I have no outlet. Its complicated because I love Wanderlei Silva, but Anderson Silva makes me want to wretch...too many Silvas!!!



TOP TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT CHAEL SONNEN

10. Something I noticed, and something that DFW mentioned, he could have stalled that last minute and a half, or so. Hes one of the best wrestlers in the country imo. He didn't stall though, he went for the finish...it probably cost him the fight, but it proves hes got heart. It shows that he was there to fight, and he forced Silva to actually fight, for the first time in a long long time.

9. He backed up all the shit he talked, no question. Speaking of shit-talk, I'd just like to say for the record, that at the pre-fight presser, Alves' reactions to the stuff that Sonnen said were priceless. I really do like him...too bad he cant seem to make weight. Hopefully he'll be back at 185. I love the look on his face during the "there can be only one" speech, he tries so hard to keep his face neutral, then just gives up...he has a pretty smile:) Ok I just watched it again cause it made me laugh. I heard something in the background while Alves was laughing, right when he looked over it Silva. It sounded like Silva was saying "Burra, burra, burra!" if I'm not mistaken, which means "Dumb, dumb, dumb!" So I'm not sure what else was said, or what was going on there, but Alves found it funny anyways. I love it! the whole presser hes just cracking up! At the midway point h got the giggles and couldn't stop.

8. Hes incredibly attractive...even more so with the busted up face.

7. Even regarding his unfortunate defeat, hes an eloquent speaker.

6. He denies the crazy shit that comes out of his mouth regularly...even when being presented with a recording...and people who heard him say it.

5. At the pre-fight presser he mentioned people praising him for his commetnt. He also said that he ran for public office and recieved 99.6 percent of the votes. And the guy asking the question asked if that was the one where he ran unopposed, and he said "That is correct" I swooned a little.

4. He wants a reality show with Anderson Silva...he needs to do it.

3. He TRANSLATED for Silva...well not actually, but his translation was 5 million times better than Ed's or whoever it is out there translating WRONG.

2. He said he was devestated, and seems genuinely devestated. He even mentioned post-fight considering retiring over it...it caused me panic and distress.

1. He makes NO apoligies.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

UFC 117 LIVE BLOG

Nelson vs. Dos Santon - Dos Santos plans on a KO according to his interview. Nelson had a little trouble getting his shirt off but he worked it out. OMG!!! his walkout song is Weird Al's Mochael Jackson parody "I'm Fat". Hahaha thats awesome!!! He tried a little pre-fight jump...he didn't get GSPs height, but still, not bad! Dos Santos is all business. The look on his face is rahter intimidating. This is a fight for the title shot, Nelson is 23 pounds heavier, he makes me smile. Ok, here we go. Nelson just threw himself on his knees...I dont know if he tripped himself or was trying to sprawl...it was awkward. Hes working for a takedown, and is as of yet unsuccessful. Dos Santos got a solid knee to Nelson's face. And an uppercut to Nelson's face...about three actually. A bunch of good hits. I'm suprised Nelson is still standing. Hes trying to recover. He jsut got another uppercut and it knocked him down...hes back up, I'm suprised he wasn't KOed, hes got a good chin. Hes hurting though. 30 seconds left in the first round...looks like he might make it to the second, I'm suprised. Dos Santos attacked again...if the first round hadn't ended the ref probaby would have ended up calling it. I hate Dos Santos a little right now. Nelson looks winded as hell. Second round starting. Nelson finally connected with a good punch, and tried to take Dos Santos down, but he would'nt drop. Hes a striker, hes not trying to go to the ground. Nelson's trading with Dos Santos, nothing too impressive for either guy. Dos Santos is cut under the eye. Nelson tries another takedown, and again it doesnt work. lol the crow is chanting "USA" it made me laugh. Dos Santos just tried for a takedown...no dice...that was weird. Hes got the pants with the butt eyes which I like, bue hes trying to hurt Roy Nelson, which I don't like. Dos Santos got in a couple more good hits. We're approaching the end of the second round. After the first round I'm suprised its gone this far, but Nelson recovered very well. The second round ended, they're shoving the Q-tip in Dos Santos' cut...along with a liberal glob of vaseline. Nelson's mullet is completely soaked in sweat. Nelson's punches seem awful wide to me. Nelson just recieved a kick right in the gut. Dos Santos just took down Nelson, but they're back up again. Dunno why Dos Santos is trying for takedowns all of the sudden. I'm very impressed with Nelson's endurance, and the crazy punches hes taken. If it goes to decision Nelson will probably lose, but even if he does, hes done an awesoem job. A KO is really his only option at this point. Roy Nelson looks like hes about to drop...hes wobbly on his feet. He got Dos Santos in a clench, but hes back out. Nelson threw an uppercut. The fight is over, it goes to decision!! Wow they're showing a replay of a knee to the stomach of Nelson, I missed that the first time, it was BRUTAL. Everyone knows Dos Santos won. Junior Dos Santos by unanimous decision. Nelson doesnt look suprised, nor does Dos Santos, and they hug. Dos Santos' accent is attractive, and I like how he brushed off the translator. The polar opposite of Anderson Silva. He was very respectful and had nothing but good things to say about Roy Nelson. LMAO!!! They just showed MC Hammer in the crowd, that was awesome!

Hughes vs. Almeida - I'm liking Almeida. Hes respectful of the ability of Matt Hughes, which is good cause we don't want to underestimate him...if we do that we won't beat him. Apparently Almeida's eldest kid is names Renzo...like after the Gracis who apparently is his bff. His walk in was to "Ball and Chain" by Flogging Molly which I LOVE!!! Well actually Social Distortion did it too, but ths si the Flogging Molly version. No I take it back...maybe its Social Distortion's version...my audio's bad, I cant tell. This is the longest walo-out pre-fight stuff EVER! Ok here it goes. Almeida's looking good. Definitely lighter on his feet than Hughes. Hughes just threw a half-assed body kick. Hughes threw a good leg kick. Almeidas still quick. Hughes just threw a left hook that knocked Almeida down then choked him unconcious...Hughes by submission. Almeidas up again, they hug, Hughes won by submission...Rogan keeps saying that hes never seen someone get choked out from that position. I'm sad, and Matt Hughes' voice bugs me.


Guida vs. Dos Anjos - Ok, its everyones favorite meth addict! He just referred to himSELF as "The Carpenter" he said, and I quote "He hasn't messed with the likes of The Carpenter yet". I make fun, and his weigh-in bouncy show was bright green and garish, but I really do LOVE Clay Guida. I see this either going really well for Guida or really badly. I'd be suprised if this makes it to decision...but then I said the same thing about Nelson's fight. Lol Guida is coming out all in green bouncing around...he makes me smile. He has the personality of a pro wrestler...without the hostility. If I didn't know him and know who he was, I wouldn't guess hes a lightweight, he looks bigger than that. Lol one of the commentators just mentioned trying to get him to stop bouncing up and down for a second. He comes RUNNING into the cage...hes nuts...he could be Chael Sonnens younger brother. Dos Anjos is fighting out of Rio in Brazil so it hurts my heart to root against him, but come on...its THE CARPENTER!! Hes looking good, but hes too fast...I dont care if hes a lightweight he'll get winded like that. Guida just missed a nice head kick from Dos Anjos. Guida's heart might explode. Dos Anjos almost tripped Guida but he caught himself. Dos Anjos tries a takedown and now Guida twists it around and is trying to finish off the takedown. The crowd is chanting "Guida!" Guida is still trying for a takedown. No takedown, both are back on their feet...Dos Anjos keeps trying with the head kicks. Dos Anjos trys to sprawl and take down Guida, but its not successful. Dos Anjos got Guida with a good uppercut, and then takes him down. Guida gets up and Dos Anjos nails him good in the face on his way us. The first round ends. Lol Guida is sitting there with a bottle of water in his hand drinking and nodding while his trainers talk, barely looking winded. Round two starts Guida is still exhibiting superhuman speed, still bouncing. This is crazy, he is FAST! He's running around and sucking under arms, and he just tried a flying knee. The crowd is chanting "Lets go Guidam lets go!" As far as fans, poor Dos Anjos didn't have a chance. Guidas still jumping around and throwing punches. Dos Anjos is holding his own too, bless his heart. Guida with a beautiful takedown! Full guard. Guidas on top, throwing punches, Guida is trying to pass to half-guard, I tihnk he got it. Guida is bleeding, no suprise there. He must be a bleeder. Hes smearing blood all over Dos Anjos' chest and stomach. Oh, looks like hes got a nosebleed. I thought it was under his eye. They're wiping Guidas blood off Dos Anjos with a towel. Third round starts, Guida is still bouncing around like a pinball. Guida is more agressive this round, he came in threw several punches them popped back out again. They go down, Guida is on top. He lands some good side knees to the body. Holy crap what happened? Guida submitted Dos Anjos...I think...Guida is pressing down with his shoulder on Dos Anjos' head apparently, and Dos Anjos' head was cocked at a weird angle and pressed up against the cage, and Dos Anjos tapped because something is wrong with his jaw. They're saying its broken. That was a very poor camera angle, I couldn't really even see what happened. But it looks like Dos Anjos maybe just pulled a tooth out of him mouth, im not sure, it wouldn't make sense though with the mouthguard...The official decision is 1:51 of round 3 Guida wins by tapout submission. He seemed to want to talk to Dos Anjos...Dos Anjos didn't seem to want to talk back. He started jumping around again. Hes being interviewed now, and the first thing he did was apoligize to Dos Anjos for hurting him. It was classy...hes not even out of BREATH...hes NOT HUMAN!!! Lol they took the mic away and he won't stop talking...I love him!!


Struve vs. Morecraft - Morecrft takes down Struve and immedieatly goes into side control. Morecraft is dominating Struve on the ground. More craft is standing, throwing punches at Struve's face while hes still on the ground. He trys a triangle, Struve gets out. Morecraft back on top of Struve throwing more punches to the face. Struve is taking some really hard hits to the face. Morecraft tries for a triangle again, no good, so he beats on Struve's face some more. Morecraft is beating the crap out of Struve. Struve is bleeding from the mouth. Morecraft is in full mount just DOMINATING...its sad to watch. holy crap, Struve just tried a submission and almsot got it. Morecraft tried a standing guillotine. They make it to the end of the first round. I'm suprised it wasn't stopped...I lost count of the direct head shots. The doctors are looking at Struve, he has a big fat lip. The doctor just told him "If hes got a good surgeon ehs gonna be alright"...uh....thats comforting. Second round starts, Struve with a leg kick...Struve wins...???...I was looking away...I'm a bad blogger. That all happened in two seconds. Ok, he connected with two punches knocked Morecraft to the ground, and pounced. 33 seconds of round 2, TKO, Struve the winner. He checks on Morecraft which is always nice to see. They're interviewing him with that fat lip...its kinda funny...that was a suprise.


Fitch vs. Alves - I'm worried for Alves, because at the weigh ins he was told he had to cut half a pound...so hes been trying to cut more weight the day before a fight. Thats gotta be tough on your body. Half a pound isn't much, but why couldn't he do it the first time. That has to be embarassing to get out there and weigh too much. Ok and how many "Pitbulls" are there in mma...I can think of two or three right off. OHHH!! They just said that he chose not to cut the weight and gave up 20% of his purse. Thats CRAZY...and not good. They're talknig about how he looked guant at the weigh-ins, and I agree, its not looking good already. I feel bad for him. To not cut a half a tiny pound, thats crazy. Fitch gets 10% of his purse the state gets the other 10% hes giving up. This isnt a godo sign...hew cound have done a half a pound in a sauna...well in theory. I'm thinking hes not well. Lol apparently the prep area is called "The Harley Davidson prep point" product placement/shameless advertising much? Oh, while I wait for the fight to start, theres a guy who works at my local Moe's, and he looks just like Fitch, it made me laugh. Fight started, and Fitch just got an impressive takedown. Hes on Alves from behind. Got a little bit of some GSP "ape technique" going on here. Fitch is off Alves' back and Alves is struggling his way up. Fitch just took him down again. So far Fitch is dominating. Alves just got Fitch on his back. Alves is on top, they're trading some punches. Alves gets up and lets Fitch back up...I think thats nice of him. Fitch starts flailing his legs in the air till he realizes Alves backed up and is letting him get up. Fitch gets in a good combo and a couple hard body shots to Alves. Id say the round definitely goes to Fitch, but Alves hung in there...I was afraid there would be a first round KO or something. Round two starts, they trade punches then go down...Alves made an attempt at a guillotine of sorts, bu then let go. Alves is trying to get back up again, but Fitch is on him. He was almost up, and Fitch took him down again. Alves is still struggling to get up, Fitch is behind him and takes him down again...he may as well embrace the ground, it looks like thats where they're going to be until Fitch decides that he feels like getting up. Lol Alves got back up...no wait, down they go again. Seriously hes wasting so much effort getting up just to be forced back down again. The fans are booing some...I'm assuming its all this up and down stuff. Second round is almost over. Fitch tries for a kick, then Alves tries. Second round ends. Lol they're showing a montage of all of Fitches takedowns in this fight so far! Third round is starting, they're trading punches pretty well. Fitch tries a takedown, and shockingly it fails. They're still on their feet. They go down again, with Fitch on Alves' back. Fitch has a bodt triangle, still beating u on Alves. Getting in some good shots to the head. Fitch got a better hold on the body triangle. Alves rolls over, hes on top now, but Fitch still has the triangle. Oh, they're up on their feet. It goes to decision, I'm suprised it went that far, even though everyone knows Fitch has this. The commentators are constantly talking about how bad Alves looks, and how much the weight cutting hurt him, and its pretty obvious they're right. Fitch by unanimous decision, no suprise there.


Sonnen vs. Silva - Its finally here!! Sonnen gets a chance to back up all his shit talk. He promises that if I tune in tonight that this is the last time I'mgoing to have to see Anderson Silva. I will ALWAYS be a fan of Sonnen's trash talk...AND of his denials!! YAY!! Its finally here, and Sonnen is looking GOOD! LOL!! Silva is getting booed so much that you almost cant hear the cheers...and it warms the cockles of my heart! Its starting. Lol, at Silva's bowing! First round just started. Silva means business. They both comes out punching. Silva grabs Sonnen's leg and Sonnen does a backwards somersault and ends up standing. Sonnen just rocked the crap out of Silva...twice. They go down, and stand back up. Sonnen gets Silva down. this is BEAUTIFUL! Sonnen gets into half-guard. Hes beating Silva from on top. Sonnen is on Silva's back. Sonnen is a beast. Silva looks out of it. Sonnen is whupping up on silva. Sonnen gets side control, then back to full guard. First round is over, I was hoping it wouldn't get this far, but Sonnen looks awesome. Round 2, Silva with a leg kick, then Sonnen takes him down. Sonnen is on top again throwing punches. Lol Sonnen is punching both Silva's ears at the same time, over and over. Sonnen still trying to pass guard. I think Sonnen is making fun of Silva with some of this stuff hes doing on the ground. He is a BEAST!! Silva tries for a Kimora, then gets his leg, but Sonnen gets out of it. The second round ends. Round 3 starts, Silva connects with a good punch to Sonnen. Sonnen gets Silva down again. Sonnen is on Silva's back, just kneeing him over and over in the ass. Its hilarious. Silva rolls back over to his back with Sonnen on top in guard. Sonnen is trying for side control. Silva trying for a body triangle. Sonnen with punches to Silvas side. Sonnen is nailing Silva in the head over and over and over. The third round ends. Fourth round starts Silva is very agressive with the punching. Sonnen looks off balance. Silva takes down Sonnen, and is on TOP...WTF! Sonnen rolls him over.And now Silva's back on the bottom where he belongs. Sonnen with the face punches again. Sonnens getting some powerful head shots in. Hes dominating Silva. The only way Silva can win is keeping it from going to decision. Chael is punching him in the face over and over and over, this is crazy. They both look crazy tired. Its nearing the end of the fourth round. Sonnen is bleeding pretty good. Fith and final round starts. Sonnen misses his takedown attempt. Sonnen rocked Silva then took him down...hes on the ground again, getting the shit knocked out of him by Sonnen. Sonnen tries a choke, it doesn't work, they go back to full guard. Sonnen is in side control now. They're both tired. I hope Sonnen can just maintain. Silva got in a couple good punches from the bottom. Sonnens sitting on Silva punching him. Silva is trying to choke out Sonnen. Sonnen didn't tap...or did he? This is a mess. Silva won in the last round....he submitted Sonnen. I'm pretty upset, I feel nauseous, I must go vomit. 3:10 of round 5 Silva by triangle choke. WTF on his knees in front of Sonnen...they sort of hug...I don't even know whats happening here...goodnight, I'm going to bed. Wait....did Sonnen just imply he was quitting...I am so totally heartbroken right now that I can't even describe it. Now I'm really going to bed...and sleeping for a week.

Jayne Says: Quick Picks for UFC 117

I say "quick" because I don't have alot of time to dwell on this post. In case you hadn't noticed, I haven't really been around much in the past month or so; Real Life has been getting in the damned way of my MMA obsession. Curse you, reality! Curse you!!

Anywho...I present to you, our (two) loyal readers, my UFC 117 picks:

Saunders v. Hallman -- Really, do I have to explain this? Like Rusty said, he's got a hell of a record...but what she didn't mention is that Hallman defeated Matt Hughes. Twice. By submission. In a combined time of 1 minute, 12 seconds. 'Nuff said.

Struve v. Morecraft -- Before the weigh-ins, I was going for Struve, hands down. He's freakishly tall and still not old enough to shave, and he's been pretty impressive in the UFC so far. However, after watching the weigh-ins, I'm not so sure about Morecraft. He's a big boy...he's almost as tall as Struve, but he's almost twice as wide. I expect him to put up one hell of a fight. That being said, Struve is all arms and legs, and I still think he'll win....just not as easily as I thought before.

Hendricks v. Brenneman -- Ok, this is where Rusty is just wrong. Sure, Brenneman has nice hair and might look good in a Calvin Klein ad, but Hendricks is...well, Hendricks. He's undefeated, is a very decorated amateur wrestler...and sports a beard like nobody's business. Sorry, Brenneman, I gotta go with Hendricks ftw.

Boetsch v. Brown -- Did I ever tell you that Rusty is delusional? Yep, she is. Totally nuts. We love her anyway, though...even if she's going to get this fight wrong, too. Boetsch is a wrestler. He apparently has a strong chin. Buddy has three career losses -- to Jason Brilz, Matt Hamill and Vladimir Matyushenko. To be fair, the latter two were taken short notice (he had three days to get ready for Matyushenko!) and two of the three went to decision (he got TKO'd by Hamill in the second round). And his picture on the UFC site is scary...

Davis v. Wallace -- Ok, this is where I start getting silly, because I seriously love Wallace's nickname. "Sho'nuff the Master"? Hellz yes! Sure, Davis might actually win the fight, but I'm going for irrationality on this one, thank you.

Hazelett v. Story -- Ok, Story's nickname annoys me. Because he looks 12. He's not the least bit scary to me. Hazelett's nickname also annoys me. However, 9 of his 13 wins have been by submission and I'm a sucker for a submission artist. I'm not totally committed to this outcome, however, and wouldn't be surprised if Story took the W...

Nelson v. Dos Santos -- Despite the BF's contentions that Dos Santos has the best chance of all the heavyweights to actually beat Lesnar (do not confuse this with his saying that Dos Santos will beat Lesnar, mind you), I LOVE ME SOME ROY NELSON. He is Everyman! He doesn't look like a pro athlete, doesn't act like one, and has the most awesome mullet I've seen since 1988. And he's good. He's damned good. He's taken down every guy Dana's thrown at him and I don't see why Dos Santos would be any different. I'm excited as hell to see this fight! Too bad I'll be on a plane when its shown... *cry*

Ok, Jayne is running out of time here, so the rest of these are going to be short and sweet. Sue me, I have places to be today..

Hughes v. Almeida -- Hughes is a jackass. He may be Chael Sonnen's only competition for UFC Douchebag of the Year. It sucks that Hughes is so good, because he may actually win this...but I refuse to root for him, and I'm Almeida all the effing way.

Guida v. Dos Anjos -- You know, I hadn't really had the chance to watch Guida's antics before I saw the weigh-ins yesterday, and he's a funny, funny man. And like Rusty, I'm also pretty sure he's on something...but whatever. He's a wrestler, he's enthusiastic, I love his attitude...and like I told the BF, anyone who can fight with THAT much hair in his face has my vote...

Fitch v. Alves -- Alves apparently can't make weight to save his life. Seriously, half a pound? Alves is cute as hell tho...but I still can't pick him as a winner. Fitch for the win..

Silva v. Sonnen -- and here we have our main event. I will preface this by saying that I LOVE CHAEL SONNEN. The dude is a fucking lunatic, which amuses the hell out of me, but he's also a damned good wrestler and just what Silva needs to knock some sense back into him. And by "knock," I mean "take to the mat and bleed on him"....

So there you have it. My abbreviated fight picks. I would love to sit and chat about just how much joy Chael Sonnen gives me, but I have to get my ass in gear. Enjoy the fights, dear readers, and I'll be posting more in the future.. Bahahahhaa!

Friday, August 6, 2010

POST WEIGH-IN THOUGHTS

I just watched the weigh-ins and I have a few thoughts. I love Brenneman, and I love his hair! I changed my mind, I'm hoping Brenneman gets a win!
The guy following Story around with the camera bugged me...as did Story himself really.
Ok, Dos Santos, I didn't hate, he seemed like a nice enough guy. Roy Nelson was...well...Roy Nelson...he did the belly rub, and it made me smile.
Hughes I still hate...can't really put my finger on why, he just fills me with disgust and rage...
I kinda liked Dos Anjos he seemed tolerant of crackhead Guida...as for Guida...I LOVE me some Guida, I DO!! But what the HELL was wrong with him!?!!? He comes in throwig stuff at the fans...ok, thats fine...Hes got like 5 different outfits on, and just starts taking it all off and tossing it in a trailing pile as he jumps around...even socks, WHO wear socks!?! But yeah he was bouncing around like a crazy person. He had me laughing, but in all seriousness, I'm pretty positive now hes on cocaine or something...also he MAY have stuffed his adorable purple shorts.
I felt bad for Alves, he was over by half a pound, but I think he handled it well...I like Alves, I do...I really don't know why I'm not excited about this fight. In FACT, I like Alves so much that I change my mind on that fight too!
Sonnen cracked me up...I was suprised by all the boos...as hes sort of like a superhero to me. Anderson Silva with those stupid ridiculous headphones refused to face off...I don't remember what he did exactly that pissed me off, maybe it was just his facial expressions, but he made me so mad I hit the table, and now my hand is swollen...I may have overreacted...There was no handshake after, which was in no was suprising.

UFC 117 FIGHT PICKS

Saunders vs. Hallman - Ok, so Saunders has had way less pro fights than hallman. Hallman is 4 inches shorter. Saunders is 27, Hallman is 34. Saunders is 8-2-2, and Hallman is 64-13-2, 1 nc. Saunders has the advantage of youth, but I still have to go with Hallman!


Struve vs. Morecraft - Struve has the submission experience, I don't know much about Morecraft, I'm going to go with Struve. Wait, I just noticed that according to the stats, Struve weighs 238, Morecraft weighs 260. I learned a long time ago that sometimes the little guy suprises you...so I'm still going with Struve.


Hendricks vs. Brenneman - Gonna go with Hendricks, hes had less fights, but hes undefeated. Brenneman has only had one loss though, so I think it should be a good fight.


Boetsch vs. Brown - Don't know much about Brown, but hes had more fights less losses, and uses submissions. He also seems more well rounded, so I'll say Brown with the win...it wouldn't suprise me either way though.


Davis vs. Wallace - Lol well they call Davis "Mr. Wonderful", and they call Wallace "Shonuff the master"...I don't know who "they" is...but based on nicknames they both fail in an epic way. I'll go with Davis because he sounds kind of like a superhero...


Hazelett vs. Story - McLovin all the way! Cause Ilike the name mainly...but Story is a southpaw...you gotta watch us leftys, we're tricky!


Nelson vs. Dos Santos - Ok, I hope I'm wrong, I really really do!! Its not cause I think Nelson's out of shape...hes not, I know this...but Dos Santos is Brazilian...and I have to go for the Brazilians like Jayne goes for the wrestlers...so I'm guessing Dos Santos, but I'm rooting for Nelson. And I think its entirely possible that Nelson will pull off a win...I just think Dos Santos is a little more likely. Ok, after all that I changed my mind. Nelson has the grappling going for him...and I just like him so much better. Nelson for me!!!


Hughes vs. Almeida - Almeida, because I'm all about anyone who isn't Hughes.


Guida vs. Dos Anjos - Guida because any fight Guida is in is awesome, win or lose. His fights are brutal and bloody, and he has awesome hair. The Carpenter for the win!


Fitch vs. Alves - I don't have the interest in this fight that one would assume. Fitch cause I like him better.


Silva vs. Sonnen - Sonnen times infinity! After that horrible Carwin defeat last time I can hardly dare to hope...but hope I must, because we have to keep moving and look towards the future. The immediate future in this case is hopefully leading up to another giant tool getting his ass beat. Chael Sonnen has a precarious grip on sanity at best, and thats why I love him. I hope he wins, and I hope he ends Anderson Silva's career. When you forget where you come from, and the fans that helped to get you there, then you're not worth the energy it takes to turn the TV on and watch you.

WEEKLY WANDERLEI

This week we have an old commercial for toilet paper...in Portuguese...I've watched it like 20 times, it just keeps getting better!!

WEEKLY WTF

Seth Petruzelli is this weeks focus...next week is a Lawlor week...it involves a cow, thats all I'm saying...enjoy...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

WEEKLY WANDERLEI!!

I'm missing Wanderlei Silva a lot....I hope hes doing better...and ready to fight again soon!! Weekly Wanderlei for this week is a Japanese film clip he's in, he plays the bad guy. He acts too!! How awesome is that!?! Hes a STUNNING actor!!



Tuesday, July 13, 2010

WEEKLY WTF!!

Thanks Jayne for finding this!!! Its Lawlor again...because we love us some Lawlor...I didn't know it was possible, but I'm just a little grossed out. This is from middleeasy.com...uh...enjoy?

Monday, July 12, 2010

LAWLOR'S NEXT FIGHT?




Ok. so I love a good mystery...and I love me some Tom Lawlor, as everyone who knows me knows. In fact, MMA is the only reason I bother with twitter...and he and Seth Petruzelli are half of THAT reason. Aaaaanyways, Lawlor posted a tweet earlier tonight that said:

"My next fight is almost official, people better get ready to duck"
about 6 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Hey, I have a blackberry too!!! I hate it a little less now. Anyways I didn't think anything of it, but THEN he tweeted THIS:

"For people guessing on my next fight, I already gave a hint as to what show in my last post."
about 4 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Now I wonder if he means WHAT...or WHO...which leads me to wonder....

UFC Duck March with BJ Penn, Diego Sanchez Jqt4we_bAv0 - Best Movies - Video

Now I know that hes not fighting B.J. Penn...so that leaves Diego Sanchez...and I know the weigh classes don't match up.....but still I wonder...a WW isn't gonna fight a MW...I know this...but I'm obsessing...besides...DUCKS!!!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

WEEKLY WTF PART II

Originally this was only going to be a normal 1 part post...but I was almost done with the last post, and I came across this one. I laughed, I cried, I got super creeped out...if this man could string a sentence togethor, he might be dangerous...not sure how smart it was for DFW to sign someone this openly hostile to the sport of MMA, to the UFC. James Toney doesn't seem like a very nice man...also look for a Coture doll...thats all I'm saying...well that, and I look foward to him having the crap kicked out of him.

WEEKLY WTF

In our first departure from the Petruzelli and/or Lawlor trend, we shift our focus to Mr. Clay Guida. Now, I'm all about "The Carpenter", he tears people up...and he had one of the bloodiest fights I've ever seen. That being said, this is an interview with him where he can't seem to keep his hands off himself...its a little odd. He might be just a little drugged up....not sure of its ecstasy with all the rubbing...or coke with all the the picking...or maybe hes just naturally twitchy...it seems like the more likely scenario. This is part one of this special two part Weekly WTF double feature!


Sunday, July 4, 2010

UFC RECAP

I made the worst picks of all TIME for this UFC. I think I got 2 right...my shame knows no bounds. I think this was all too personal...I may have made some unwise picks based on my intense dislike of certain other people...I'm sleepy, its almost 2 in the morning, so I'll make this fast.

Gerald Harris vs. Dave Branch - Lol as soon as this fight started I figured it wouldn't go well for Branch. He got slammed twice, then the third time he actually jumped on Harris and wrapped his legs arouns his waist...dumb move...Harris slammed him again, and knocked the wind right out of him. It was OVER. All the waving hands was weird...his whole fighting style was odd..it looked almost like he was gonna bust out with some caopeira for a minute. Harris was'nt much better. The whole fight just seemes awkward to me.

Seth Petruzelli vs. Ricardo Romero - This makes me so very very very sad. Petruzelli blew his second chance...it was nice to see Lawlor again. The thing about them is that whenever I see them, no matter the circumstances they just make me giggle. Either by themselves or togethor, they just give me happy giggles. Petruzelli was looking good in the first round. He got submitted in the second, and I think he actually injured his elbow. It made me sad, this was very disappointing...it was the first disappointment of the night for me, but it wouldn't be the last.

Brendan Schaub vs. Chris Tuchscherer - One of the only fight picks I got right. Good fight, not much to say about it.

George Sotiropoulos vs. Kurt Pellegrino - Got it wrong...no suprise there...i was disappointed. I like Pellegrino. Sotiropolous was very agressive though, and he got the win.

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Stephan Bonnar - This fight makes me want to vomit...Soszynski dominated...till he didn't anymore....Bonnar bleeds like an old man on blood thinners...he kind of looks like one too...also he looks like he has dentures. The Polish experiment had him running with his back turned two or three times at first. Bonnar would have probably been cut from the UFC if he'd lost, imo...so I'm extra disappointed. At the end though, Bonnar looked like he was in worse shape. Sadly though somehow Bonnar managed to pull it off. They both showed good sportsmanship though. Just for the record, Soszynski looked good as hell!

Chris Lytle vs. Matt Brown - Got it wrong again...at this point it was becoming a pattern. Lytle in this fight, was the first time I've ever seen the other guy stop and make sure the loser was ok before he celebrated...which I don't think is something Lytle normally does.

Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Chris Leben - The second fight I got right. I didn't expect to like this fight for obvious reasons. I maintain that Wanderlei would have done it a lot better. That being said, as Wanderlei Silva was unavailable, this may have been one of the best fights I've ever seen. I had warm fuzzies for Leben...until he called out Wanderlei...then I went back to thinking he was a douche. I'm glad the cheater got beaten though. And let Leben fight Wanderlei. Wanderlei will DESTROY HIM!!!

Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin - Only think I'm going to say is that I think it should have been stopped and given to Carwin in the first round. I also think there were a couple times Carwin could have finished Lesnar and held back. I was very very very very disappointed. Sometimes theres just not a building tall enough...

Saturday, July 3, 2010

UFC 116: half-assed live-blogger, at your service.

Yeah, so I missed most of the first fight because I was outside smoking, and then getting some pudding. It's rice pudding, made by Kozy Shack, and it's delicious... I highly recommend it. ANYWHO... Rusty will be back in the morning with her write-up, I'm sure, but in the mean time...here we go..

Sotiropolous v. Pelligrino -- I caught the very end, and by the very end I mean the third-round bell. I know Sotiropolous won by unanimous decision, and he has a very lovely Australian accent. The BF should be happy...I'm pretty sure he picked him to win (and since we always go against each other when we pick fights, this would mean that I was supposed to be rooting for Batman...oh well).

Soz...Sosz...uh, the Polish Experiment v. Bonnar -- I'm supposed to be rooting for Bonnar. The BF picked the other dude because he's Canadian, but I have to say I'm secretly going for He Whose Name I Cannot Spell. He's pretty. Whatever, I do what I want! Oops. Bonnar's apparently tougher than he looks...guess I shoulda kept my fat mouth shut. But seriously? "The American Psycho"? He needs a new nickname...just sayin'.

Chris Lytle v. Matt Brown -- Hmmm. I'm so heavily invested in this fight that I have no memory of who I picked to win. Brown, probably, because I like his nickname. His walkout music, however, is grating on my nerves...as are the fireworks my Korean neighbors are shooting off their back deck. Damnit, people, don't you know the UFC is on?!? Brown hits Lytle with a nice slap to the face with his left foot...and at some point, Lytle winds up in a lovely little choke-hold which he eventually escapes. Impressive. Ok, I'm very tired and beginning to nod off. Lytle goes all break-dancer on Brown's face and gets him in three different holds within fifteen seconds, and he is now doing some sort of crucifix-crotchintheface move that jacks Brown's elbow and forces him to tap. Wow. That's two sad little elbows so far this event (the Petruzelli-Romero fight ended in similar fashion).. Lytle by submission.

Chris Leben v. Yoshiro Akiyama -- Sigh. As we all know (and as Rusty is no doubt crying into her beer as we speak), this was SUPPOSED to be Wanderlei Silva v. Akiyama, and that woulda been a no-brainer. We love us some Wanderlei. And Rusty really loves her some Wanderlei. Oh, and did I mention that I really dislike Chris Leben? I can't say why, but something about him makes me want to punch him in the mouth.

This is, perhaps, the strangest walk-out music I've ever heard in the UFC. Hell, it's the strangest walk-out I've ever seen. Akiyama apparently has a little ritual he goes through before he walks out, and it's impressive. I think I may be developing a little crush on Sexyama. Oh noes!

And it took Akiyama all of 8 seconds to get Leben down, but he pops back up like one of those dummy clowns...and Leben gets kicked in the junk and has to manhandle himself before he can get back into the fight. Hmm...

Akiyama's ground game is impressive. I'm liking this Judo stuff. Too bad it's really not as effective when Leben's throwing punches like a mofo. Two minutes into the second round and they both seem exhausted. And now they're on the ground! And laying there! And rolling around! I really need more coffee.. Is it a draw if both fighters simultaneously pass out from exhaustion? What about if the blogger passes out? But I digress..

I have no idea who's winning this fight. Really. That's Rusty's territory, being the resident expert on MMA. The crowd is now booing, which really chaps my ass -- these guys are doing something you, Mr. Fat Couch Potato, couldn't do if your life depended on it, and you have no right to boo them for not being as exciting as you'd like them to be. If you want them to stand up the whole fight, go watch boxing. Better yet, if all you care about is the spectacle, I'm sure there's some pro wrestling on USA right about now.. My point is, STFU with the booing, you assclowns.

And Leben wins with a triangle. Shit. My record for picking 'em this time around ain't so great. And then Leben goes and ruins it by CALLING OUT WANDERLEI SILVA. Excuse me while I add this to my list of reasons to dislike Chris Leben.

Ok, while the rest of you are suffering through commercials (on PPV? what?), I shall be going for more coffee...

Brock Lesnar v. Shane Carwin -- Carwin. Carwin, Carwin, Carwin. I love him. He is a bad-ass motherfucker. And he's from Colorado. And he seems like he's a nice guy. What's not to love about Carwin? On the other hand we have Brock Lesnar, who irritates the everloving hell out of me. His hair is annoying, his tattoos are annoying, his attitude is annoying. Unfortunately, he's an excellent wrestler and ridiculously agile for...well, for a little guy, let alone a guy his size. But Carwin's also a good wrestler....and he's currently beating the ever loving hell out of Lesnar at three minutes left in the first. Oh goody, Lesnar is bleeding! And laying there...and getting beat on some more...and now he's on his feet, damnit. And dragging Carwin into a second round for the first time in his professional career. DAMN YOU, BROCK!

Round two, and I'm really excited! And Lesnar gets Carwin on his back. Not cool, Broccoli, not cool. Oddly, it would appear I'm much more concerned about this than Shane. He seems rather zen about the whole thing...even as Lesnar gets him in a choke...and tries to pop his head off...and FUCK ME, CARWIN TAPPED. Now Lesnar's never going to shut the fuck up... Sigh.

To his credit, the mouthy bastard has nothing snotty to say after the fight. Could it be that his bout with diverticulitis cured him of his jackassery? God, I freaking hope so...

And Shane, sweetie...you got 'im next time.. ;)

Friday, July 2, 2010

FIGHT PICKS

These are my fight picks, next time I'll try really hard to keep it short, I promise! Even I know that this is a little ridiculous! But heres what I think.

Jon Madsen vs. Karlos Vemola - Its Veloma's first UFC fight. He was the CFC heavyweight champion in the UK at one point (although he is actually Czech). He's 7-0, and Madsen in 5-0, so they're both undefeated. This is just a guess on my part, I know Madsen is a good fighter too, but I figure Vemola is going to come in looking to prove something. The only problem? His wife is expecting baby number two on the day of the fight, so he may be distracted. I like Madsen ok, and I don't know enough about Vemola to like him or dislike him, so I wouldn't mind Madsen winning either:)

Daniel Roberts vs. Forrest Petz - I'll go with Roberts I guess, because I believe he has a stronger grappling background. Hes experienced in wrestling and jiu-jitsu.

Gerald Harris vs. Dave Branch - Going with Branch. He is 6-0, Harris has had two losses. Branch is new to the UFC, and I like him because he came off as being a little nervous at the weigh-ins.

Kendall Grove vs. Goran Reljic - Going with Reljic on this one, because I like him. And really, regarding Grove, what kind of name is Da Spyder? "Spider" isn't even spelled right...and "da" isn't even a real WORD!!!!

Seth Petruzelli vs. Ricardo Romero - Petruzelli all the way!!! He lost his last two UFC fights and was cut, this is true, BUT since then he's had four wins, including a TKO of Kimbo Slice. Also hes hilarious, and I like him. This is Romero's first UFC fight. He has the better record with 10-1-0, but what can I say...hope springs eternal.

Brendan Schaub vs. Chris Tuchscherer - I'm for the hybrid I think. Tuchsherer says hes arrogant, but I haven't seen that yet.

George Sotiropoulos vs. Kurt Pellegrino - Only because he just tried to face off with Dana White at the weigh-ins. It made me laugh out loud!

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Stephan Bonnar - I dislike Stephan Bonnar so very, very much. I can't really put my finger on why, but I do. Also in his fight pic he was sucking in his stomach to the point of it being ridiculous. Soszynsiki looked like he was in AWESOME shape at the weigh-in. Also I love his tattoos, they're incredible!!

Chris Lytle vs. Matt Brown -Lytle's had more fights but they're both around 50% give or take. I just like Brown better.

Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Chris Leben - Ok, not a Leben fan...I'm a Wanderlei fan...*sob sob*...but moving on, I'm calling it for Leben, and I'll tell you why. Leben wants to fight, Leben likes to fight, he agreed to a fight on EXTREMELY short notice, exactly 14 days after his last fight. I don't care who you are, thats impressive....not as impressive as Wanderlei Silva would have been, but I'll move on. Before Wanderlei Silva had to pull out of this fight, I didn't have much of an opinion on Akiyama, I didn't know much about him. I just thought of him as the guy that Wanderlei was going to beat. Well when Wanderlei had to pull out, Akiyama started running his mouth, and saying that he didn't want to fight Leben because Leben wasn't famous enough for him to get the publicity that someone as famous as Wanderlei Silva would get him. He was talking about not even going through with the fight. I don't know what happened but something must have convinced him to go ahead....most likely more money...that or he was reminded that he was contractually obligated. So Akiyama problem number one, is that he has no heart at all. I gotta admit, Leben has the heart whether I like him or not. And reason number two I can't stand Akiyama...hes a greaser. He has a reputation of doing it as often as he can get away with it. He actually had a win against Kazyshi Sakuraba, a Japanese legend, overturned because Sakuraba filed a complaint. First he denied it, but eventually "Sexyama" admitted to using lotion. The DQ said that he used "huge amounts of skin cream all over his body". which K-1 strictly prohibits. He claimed he didn't know...the whole fight Sakuraba kept yelling that he was slippery and yelling at the ref to stop the fight. If you watch the fight, you can see it, its obvious! He keeps grabbing Akiyama and Akiyama keeps slipping right out of his hands. The ref didn't stop it, and then wrote in his private blog about being taken out to dinner after the fight...My original point however was that Akiyama has no heart, and he greases. I hope that Leben's hair bleeds all over him! Just an added note, I'm watching the weigh-ins as we speak, and he just LOOKS like a douche.

Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin - Carwin all the way!! He looks like hes in great shape, from what I can see, watching the weigh-ins. Oh update! Lesnar still hasn't found his neck! No suprise, they don't shake hands. I don't know why people are so sure Lesnar is going to win. Carwin's average fight length is 1:08, hes undefeated, Lesnar is not. NONE of Carwins 12 fights have made it past the first round! Hes a beast! For all the promotion that they're doing on this fight, and all the money that Lesnar is making, I'm not sure why they aren't paying him more. Hes getting 40 grand to fight and another 40 to win. I don't think that anyone doubts that Lesnar is probably getting 6 figures to fight. Who knows how much he'd get if he won...which of course he would not. My point is, that even if Carwin wins, he STILL won't be making as much as Lesnar. He has more experience, more wins under his belt, a perfect record, and a soul. These are all areas in which Lesnar is deficient.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

WEEKLY WANDERLEI





I still can't believe that he won't be in UFC 116. I cry myself to sleep every night when I think about it. Regardless of that. This weekly Wanderlei is a clip where he "teaches" that kid who took the ring girl to the prom, a pickup-line

Saturday, June 26, 2010

STRIKEFORCE


All I'm going to say is that I may have been the only person on the PLANET rooting for Werdum...I think I have a gift. My fellow blogger isn't so happy about it...but he had Wanderlei's seal of approval, so I knew it was destined to be. War Brazil!

Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum!

So, here we are. Strikeforce is starting, and I'm watching all by my lonesome. That's right, your usual live-blogger is off doing who knows what and she's left the lunatic in charge of the aslyum... Yeehaw, who wants a popsicle? Ok, ok, I'll wait until the show's over, but you'd better not gank the last grape one..

Pat Healy vs. Josh Thomson -- Alright, I admit it, I don't watch a whole lot of Strikeforce so I don't know alot of the guys on the card...like either of these guys. Thomson has the better record, and he seems to be rather impressed with himself. Good for him...

Woo, double-leg by Thomson in the first 20 seconds. Well, he's aggressive, I'll give him that. Rusty ttexts me to ask me how it's going and in the time it takes me to respond to her, Thomson winds up riding Healy like a pony. Thirty seconds later, Healy's in an armbar, which he gets out of...and now the two of them are rolling around up against the cage. I would be more specific, but Strikeforce's camera work is shit...

Nice takedown by Healy, and he goes for the RNC! Thomson turns it around, almost gets a heel hook...but Healy squirms out. Twenty seconds left, and Healy drags Thomson back down to the ground and they both scramble for one another's limbs. The announcers are split on who took the first round, but I'm liking Healy.

Second round, and they start out throwing punches before Healy, whose tattoo is distracting me, tries to take him down. Camera work is a little better -- they're shooting from over the top of the cage instead of through the effing thing. Healy's riding Thomson's shoulders like...well, I don't know what. Now he's in Thomson's half guard and the announcers are talking about "down and dirty"...

Damn! Two minutes left, Thomson stands up and Healy slams him back to the mat. Oops...sorry, my mind wandered there for a minute, and now Thomson's trying another arm bar. Healy apparently lacks a solid endoskeleton and easily gets out of it. I'm officially renaming him Pat "Gumby" Healy...you'll let him know for me, won't you?

Round threeeee, and I really want my popsicle. I wonder if I can pause this thing? With my luck I'll just screw it up and lose the feed.. Anyway, one minute into the third and they're both still standing. Oops...Healy looks like he needs a nap. Thomson's a little tired, too, but not as much as Healy...who grabs him and struggles to take him down, then tries to get his back. Forty five seconds or so later and Thomson's reversed their positions and Healy is trying to shake him off...he drops him on his head instead, and Thomson goes for the RNC...and holds him for what seems much longer than the thirty seconds or so it took for him to convince Healy to tap. Wow. Thomson by submission at 4:27 of the third round.

Alright, damnit, while they're showing off all the stars in their audience, I'm going to go to the bathroom...

And I'm back...with my popsicle. Just in time...the only fight I REALLY want to see other than Fedor/Werdum is next... That's right, it's...

Cris "Cyborg" vs. Jan Finney -- Ok, first let me just say this: if Sarah Connor had hooked up with the Terminator instead of the crybaby from the future, she would have given birth to Cyborg instead of John Connor, and all of the Terminator sequels would have been avoided because Cyborg would have neutralized the threat from the womb, people...from the WOMB.

Ok, now that that's out of my system...

Holy shit, these girls know how to bang. They trade punches for the first two minutes until Cyborg gets Finney on the ground and proceeds to bludgeon her into ground chuck. The ref stands Finney up and they go at it again, but it doesn't take long for Cyborg to get her back on the ground...and continue to beat the hell out of her. Cyborg gets a point taken for strikes to the back of the head, but I don't think it's going to really matter in the long run because let's face it, does anyone think this is going to go five rounds?

Round two, and Finney comes out swinging. She's hella determined, I'll give her that much. Cyborg gets her to the ground again and the ref starts yelling at her to fight back. Winslow stands Finney up and they go back to punching...ok, it's mostly Cyborg punching and Finney doing an impressive job of taking it.. Two and a half minutes left, and the ref breaks them up. They both come out swinging again...but it's too much for Finney, who takes a knee to the gut before the ref stops it at 2:56 in the second. Cyborg by TKO, natch. But holy hell, "Cuddles" can take some punishment..

And it's time for the Frank Shamrock Show! To be honest, I didn't get into MMA until recently so I've never actually seen Shamrock fight...and apparently I never will since he just announced his retirement. Damn. Frank's not the most eloquent guy I've ever heard on a mic, but that little speech just gave me warm fuzzies... The little digs at the expense of the UFC didn't hurt either.. HA! And rest assured, people, this isn't the last you'll see of Frank -- he's back on the mic as an announcer by the time Cung Le walks out...

Cung Le vs. Scott Smith -- Uhm, apparently Le is 38 years old...wtf, I had to have misheard that. Surely they meant 28, because he sure as hell looks like he's fresh out of college. Nope, a look at the fighters' stats confirms that he is, indeed, 38 years old. Well. Thank you, Le, for making me feel old and decrepit.

Round one and Smith is going after Le like a rabid dog. Not even thirty seconds in and they're already up against the cage. One of the announcers apparently likes Smith's strategy, but I have to question whether it's really a good idea to start that explosively and with limbs flailing. In my humble, uneducated opinion, he's being quick and reckless to Cung Le's slow and methodical. 2:45 left and finally we have a takedown attempt by Smith, which results in Le latched on to his neck and shoulders and he ain't letting go. Another text from Rusty and I tune back in to Le clearly dominating and 45 seconds left. Hmm. Smith appears to be trying to wait out the clock since he's not doing much...but there's only six seconds left, and the ref lets it run out.

Round two! Smith's being aggressive (and still reckless, if you ask me) and Le nails him with a spinning heel kick to the gut. Ow. Apparently Le's done playing around... They break apart and start back with the punching. Cung Le nails him with another spinning back-kick, this time to the solar plexus, and Smith's down...and in the fetal position...and toast. Ref stops the fight. Cung Le by KO due to strikes at 1:45 in the second round.

Fabricio Werdum vs. Fedor Emelianenko -- I'm so effing excited about this fight, I may need to change my pants. Wait, what the fuck? My feed is fucking up. Oh hellz no. HELLZ NO. Oh my god. I think I'm going to pass out. I finally get my feed working again, and I've missed the fight. The entire fight. Which apparently lasted all of 1:09 until Werdum got knocked down and managed to get Fedor in a leg triangle AND an armbar and MADE HIM TAP. Werdum by submission at 1-something.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go throw up now.

Friday, June 25, 2010

WEEKLY WTF

The weekly WTF for this weeks is a simple picture...they're worth a thousand words dontcha know:) I thought about making it my desktop background at work, but I figured they may not appreciate it as much as I do. Picture is from cagepotato.com.


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

WEEKLY WANDERLEI :(

This is a sad, sad week in Wanderlei news. I've been looking foward to this for months and MONTHS....since the LAST fight!!! And I've just had it all ripped violently away from me...Wanderlei is HURT!!! I don't care about Akiyama, or Leben, or Carwin, or even LESNAR!!! My whole world has been turned upside down. I have sunken into an abysmal pit of despair so deep that I may never recover. The greatest fighter of this or ANY generation, is going under the kife. I can't even be mad at him for spoiling my fight plans...I was oing to bring a "Happy Birthday Wanderlei" cake to the fight party...thats ok, I still will. I wish him lots of luck with the surgery. I also hope he has a speedy recovery, so he can hurry up and start kicking ass again!

WANDERLEI SILVA PULLS OUT

Wanderlei Silva just pulled out of his UFC 116 fight, due to broken ribs that he sustained while training for this fight with Akiyama. And I didn't think my day could get any worse....I am greatly saddened by this turn of events, and am unsure how to cope...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

TUF FINALE LIVE BLOG

YAY!! Its here. For the record, I'm team McGee! Based on his ties to Yager, I'm not a McCray fan. I'm pretty excited, and I'm hoping Yager gets KTFO...or quits again.


Jamie Yager vs. Rich Attonito - What are the chances of a fast KO by Attonito?...Yager is a little more active than I would have hoped. Takedown attempt by Attonito eventually successful, but they get right back up. Attonito got Yager good in the face with a right. I'm hoping Yager gets gassed. Attonito gets Yager up against the fence, but Yager elbows him in the head a few times. Lol!! Attonitos camp "You HAVE to punch him in the face he DOES NOT LIKE IT!" Well...DUH...
Yager get a few good punches off right at the beginning of round 2. Attonito tries a head kick, doesn't hit him too hard. Attonito gets off a good combo! Yager throws a headkick, and Attonito blocks perfectly! Attonito is looking better, and Yager is looking a little worse...
Attonito with another combo and knocked Yager over, has him on the ground, tried a RNC on the ground, it didn't quite work. Attonito has back mount. Beating the crap out of Yager from behind.
ATTONITO WINS!! Ref stops the fight at the very end of the second round!!! Yager is suprisingly humble, and hugs Attonito...a lot. Final result, Attonito wins by TKO in the second round!


Spencer Fisher vs. Dennis Siver - WTF!?!?! The ref is female, AWESOME!!! Illegal kick by Fisher to the groin. Ref gave Fisher a stern yet sympathetic talking to. Siver is bleeding from a cut over his left eye. Sivers bleeding some more...looks like its bugging him, it HAS to be getting in his eye. They're going back and forth pretty good, but Siver keeps wiping at the blood. This is turning into a pretty good fight. Siver is getting some pretty good punches. I'd just like to say here, that this new ref is good, and they should use her more. Shes very decisive, which I like. Second round, they're trading back and forth. Siver grabbed Spencer's leg, punched him and dropped him, but he was right back up. Siver is bleeding from that cut again. Lol, spinning back fist...well...arm...and end of the second round. Siver kicks Fisher in the groin this time...so they're even now:) Both of them are throwing a couple high-kicks, but not much is landing. Good knee to Sivers face. Siver landed a head kick, not a whole lot of power though. I couldn't call this fight right now, I don't think. I'd guess it goes to Siver...but I wouldn't be suprised either way. Sivers bleeding heavily again. Its over, I still don't know whos gonna win this. Official result, Siver wins by unanimous decision!

Chris Leben vs. Aaron Simpson - I'm hoping for Simpson because Leben's hair just makes me inexplicably FURIOUS...and hes a tool. Ew that HAIR!!! It looks like he dyed it with kool-aid!! Even the fact that hes a lefty doesn't change my mind! Simpson BODY SLAMS Leben, that was awesome! Simpson tried to guillotine Leben, but Leben pulled out of it. Oh no! Lebens back is all red, I think his hair is bleeding! Simpson has gotten a couple takedowns, but Leben gets back up pretty fast. My co-blogger just pointed out that Leben also has painted his nails black...nice touch...
Second round, cheap red hair dye is covering Leben's back. And I'm not sure WHAT Leben is doing in Simpson's crotch area...its bizarre. Trading some more punches, Leben tries to rush Simpson a few times, and doesn't get anywhere. Leben drops Simpson, gets him facedown and beats the crap out of him. Simpson gets up, Leben keeps on him, Simpson falls/runs across the ring, and the fight is stopped, Leben wins. 4:07 of round two TKO by Leben. Hes an ass-hat, I'm sad. My theory is that the fumes from Leben's bad dye-job confused Simpson...that should be a DQ!


Matt Hamill vs. Keith Jardine - Hamill all the way on this one! Jardine is landing some hard leg kicks, he's dominating I right now. He just got a good combination. Jardine is doing better than I expected. He landed a solid punch to Hamill's side. Second round, Jardine is landing more leg kicks. Jardine tried a kick, Hamill grabs it and tries for a takedown, but it doesnt work. Jardine is bleeding a little from under his eye. Jardine's mouthpiece fell out, and Hamill is on the ground, he got poked in the eye. The ref takes a point from Jardine for the damaging eyepoke. Hamill nailed Jardine in the face. Hamill tried for a takedown, and got Jardine to his knees, but didn't quite get it. Jardine is bleeding worse. After the eyepoke they really went at it. Third round Jardine is still bloody. Hamill gets Jardine to his knees, and gets on his back, he briefly looks for a RNC, and doesn't get it. Oh, nice close up of Jardine's cut, as the ref stops the fight to check it, blood is just running out of it. The fight continues. Jardine loses a mouthpiece again. Hamill gets him with a good knee. This is a good fight, better than I expected. The third round ends, and they're both gassed. That Jardine grin is a little intimidating when hes covered in blood, I can see why he does it. Hamill wins by majority decision...I'm feeling a little bad for Jardine.


Court McGee vs. Kris McCray - Court McGee must win this! McCray kicks first. They go to the ground. McCray on bottom...and staying there. Back up on their feet. McGee in half guard...and back up. Second round, McGee takes McCray down again, had full mount. Tries to choke McCray, and it was close. McGee has full mount. McCray turns over and gets on his feet. McCray is bleeding, and McGee is trying for a RNC. He gets it, McCray taps. Court McGee wins by submission, and is the Ultimate Fighter!!

I won't lie...sometimes my fight picks are based solely on the weigh-ins..

What can I say? Apparently I'm shallow. And unlike my fellow bloggers, I just don't know enough about MMA yet to reliably pick a winner so I have to rely on things like wrestling background, my gut instincts, and whether or not one of the fighters is Canadian. I know, I know, shut up and get to the picks already. Fine, then, here you go. My picks for the TUF Finale:

Travis Brown (251) vs. James McSweeney (231) -- Yeah, I don't like McSweeney, not one bit. He's just obnoxious. Not even that charming British accent can make me give a crap about him, and that says alot. So all of this, coupled with the fact that I don't know jack about Brown except that he seems much larger than McSweeney and reminds me vaguely of BJ Penn, and I'm calling this one for Brown.

Chris Camozzi (185) vs. James Hammortree (186) -- I'll admit it, I obsessively watched this season of TUF and loved every minute of it. However, Hammortree just didn't impress me much... On the other hand, Camozzi left so early on in the show that I didn't really get a good feel for his abilities either other than the fact that he is apparently impervious to the pain... But! Mr. Camozzi IS from my home state of Colorado and is apparently something of an anarchist so I guess the coin-toss goes to Camozzi...this time.

Josh Bryant (185) vs. Kyle Noke (185) -- Sigh. This fight does not make me happy. I like both these guys, and think they're both pretty good. That being said, I really enjoy Bryant's hobbit-like fighting style so I'm going to have to call this for Bryant. (But Josh, sweetie, we really need to talk about your hair...)

Seth Baczynski (185) vs. Brad Tavares (185) -- Again with the pairing of two fighters I like. Tavares is young, eager, and has alot of heart; I expect him to have a hell of a career in MMA. Seth (I'm not typing his last name more than once) on the other hand, has experience on his side. And he's funny. I mean, really, really funny. And apparently a hell of a nice guy. Tho I really do like Tavares, I want to see Seth win this one.

John Gunderson (155) vs. Mark Holst (154) -- Wow, Holst is awful scrawny for 155. As an MMA noob, I'm not entirely sure how much this will influence the fight but my boyfriend, who actually knows what he's talking about (and is 100% to blame for my interest in MMA), also uses the word "scrawny"... in a tone of voice that leads me to believe this is probably not a good thing for Mr. Holst. It might not have the greatest of track records picking winners, but my gut is telling me to go with Gunderson. So there you go.

Rich Attonito (186) vs. Jamie Yager (185) -- With all the praise Dana White gave Tavares after his last fight in the house, he gives these guys the main card and relegates Tavares to the prelims? Really?! Oy vey... That being said, I'm sure the entire TUF-watching population wants to see Jamie Yager get his ass kicked by someone...anyone...but they were probably just as surprised as I was to learn that the guy being given that opportunity is Rich Attonito, who broke his hand early in the season. Unlike virtually everyone else in the English-speaking world, Attonito apparently has no personal animosity toward Yager. This makes him an interesting choice of opponent...but probably makes him a better candidate to beat Yager than someone who does harbor dislike for the guy. That being said, Yager's a bit of a wild-card: sometimes his fights are impressive, sometimes I just want to roll my eyes and go have another smoke.. And I'm sure it comes as no surprise to any of you that I'm going with Attonito for the win, just like everyone else in the free world except the BF.

Dennis Siver (156) vs. Spencer Fisher (156) -- Ordinarily I would have no dog in this fight...but I am endlessly amused any time a fighter has to drop his drawers to make weight. Ok, that's a slight understatement...I'm amused as hell any time a man has to strip down in public. Unfortunately, neither Fisher nor Dana White finds this as amusing as I do, and even though the BF seemed to have nice things to say about Siver, I'm going with Fisher on this one, just because...

Aaron Simpson (186) vs. Chris Leben (186) -- Yeah, I don't like Chris Leben. I find him obnoxious, and he looks like a little emo boy. According to the BF, Simpson is quite the wrestler, and my number two rule to picking winners is to go with the wrestler (number one is "go with the Canadian"), ergo, Simpson for the win, folks.

Keith Jardine (205) vs. Matt Hamill (205) -- Jardine's facial hair frightens me. Hell, Jardine kinda scares me. Hamill, on the other hand, is just one of those guys you want to bear hug and then set up on a date with your sister. He's just adorable, and I have to admit that the whole "deaf boy overcomes disability and makes career as professional fighter" thing is rather inspiring (and apparently movie-worthy). Add this to the fact that the man's a wrestler and Jardine hasn't exactly won a fight lately, and Hamill is the obvious choice for this fight.

Chris McCray (184) vs. Court McGee (185) -- I am thrilled that McCray finally got his facial-hair problem under control, although I think we still need to talk about that faux-hawk he's sporting. In contrast, McGee has excellent facial hair (what? don't judge me!) and looks to be in pretty good shape. To be fair, so does McCray, but I'm totally and completely biased in favor of McGee in this fight. I adore him and his underdog story of overcoming drug addiction to become a pro-fighter. I've been pulling for him since day one of TUF, and by god, I'm not going to change that now. I don't think people give him enough credit because he's the quiet guy in the background, but any man that can nail a standing guillotine wins my affections.. McGee for the win. Or else.

WEEKLY WTF!?!?



Lawlor and Petruzelli will probably be the subjects of the Weekly WTF for a long, long time...

WEEKLY WANDERLEI

Sunday, June 13, 2010

THOUGHTS ON UFC 115

Ok, I'm going to start with the prelims and work my way up.
Mike Pyle vs. Jesse Lennox - Decent fight. Mike Pyle won with a triangle at 4:44 in the 3rd round.

Ricardo Funch vs. Claude Patrick - At first Funch was looking good...well other than that HAIR...then in his UFC debut Patrick wins with a guillotine at 1:48 in the second round.

James Wilks vs. Peter Sobotta - They go the distance, and Wilks wins by unanimous decision.

David Loiseau vs. Mario Miranda - Miranda wins by TKO at 4:07 in the second round.

Mac Danzig vs. Matt Wiman - Ok, this is the first fight that I really have something to say about. Yves Lavigne, in his first, and largest blunder of the night stopped a fight that WASN'T FINISHED!! So Wiman had a guillotine on Danzig, but it wasn't locked in. You could see a large space on one side, blood was getting to his brain, everything was still copasthetic. Wiman started shouting at the ref to check Danzig, because he felt him go limp and thought he was out. Lavign comes over and grabs Danzin, who doesn't move because hes posting on Wiman's leg. Lavigne thinks Danzig is out, calls it. Wiman hops up and immediately Mac Danzig throws his hands in the air. HE WAS NEVER OUT!!! Lavigne, for some inexplicable reason won't take it back...This was an awful stoppage that left a bad taste in the mouth of everyone involved. Danzig was so upset that at one point he looked like he might cry. I understand why some people think that Wiman had a part in the horrible call, but hes not the ref hes the fighter, and the decision isn't up to him. It was an honest mistake on his part, and when it was over, it was obvious that he felt awful about it. It was also obvious that he thought he was about ten seconds away from winning, but he was upset that the early stoppage had tainted the fight. Amidst all the boos, he handled it well...as did Danzig after he took a moment to collect himself. The two fighters spoke briefly, hugged, and ended things better than could have been expected. Lavigne flat ruined that fight, and it was disgusting. Official decision: The Worlds Toughest Vegan choked out by guillotine at 1:45 in the first round. It made me sick!

Tyson Griffin vs. Evan Dunham - Good fight, I'll admit I was a little suprised Dunham won. I'd have guessed It would be Griffin. Dunham wins by split decision.

Carlos Condit vs. Rory MacDonald - Lavigne's next blunder of the night was this fight. MacDonald dominates the majority of the fight. I'd say the first two rounds go to him easy. Somewhere in there, he got clipped and Condit probably broke his orbital socket. The swelling started immediately and it was ugly. The third round MacDonald was getting his ass beat. He really seemed to be feeling his injury...who wouldn't. The gripe I have is that there were a few times early in the 3rd round that it should have been called as a TKO, in my opinion...letting him keep going was like letting him get an extra good beating. He was doing very little to fight back, he looked dazed. So Lavigne let it go on until SEVEN SECONDS before the final bell. If he was going to stop it he should have stopped it...not let it go on until MacDonald was most likely SEVEN SECONDS from winning it...and then stopping it. It was at the point where it was dangerous, and he let them keep fighting. He needs to be reprimanded. It is his job to make sure that the fighters don't do anything that could cause any permanant damage, if at all possible. He failed miserably last night.

Paulo Thiago vs. Martin Kampmann - Kampmann by unanimous decision. He looked really good!

Mirko Cro Cop vs. Pat Barry - So several times during this fight Barry looked like he was gonna end the fight. By the end, I had that old Mortal Kombat "Finish him!" voice going through my head, every time he knocked down Cro Cop and backed off. He wouldn't do it, and Cro Cop turned it around and took the win. Ok I understand respect...but this was ridiculous!!! In addition to the backing off, in the middel of the fight they stopped and hugged...twice I believe, and started grinning...it looked like they were having a moment...it was the most idiotic thing I've ever seen...THERES NO HUGGING DURING A FIGHT!!!! And then Cro Cops weird statement addressed to Dana White at the end, about "Don't be stingy" pandering for fight of the night or submission of the night money. Incidently, he DID get submission of the night. This fight was entertaining to me only because it got progressively stranger as it went on. Oh, and also it looks like Cro Cop somehow got his jaw or something broken somewhere along the way. Cro Cop won it by RNC at 4:30 in the third round.

Chuck Liddell vs. Rich Franklin - I'll admit it, I was suprised by this, although really I shouldn't have been. Liddell got KTFO!! Franklin got his arm broken in the very beginning of the fight, and fought through it, still using the arm. Nobody knew that he had even hurt himself until the interview right after the fight. Franklin didn't play, and Liddell went down...I kinda feel bad for the guy. Dana White personallt guaranteed that this fight was officially Liddell's last UFC fight. The official decision, Franklin wins by KO at 4:55 in the very first round!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

BELLATOR 21





All I'm going to ask is, does anyone else here feels like Imada got screwed? Giving someone a black eye does NOT equal a win, decision or otherwise! And lets face it, all Curran managed to do the entire fight was give Imada a cut and a black eye. Not only did Imada get a takedown, he was controlling that fight pretty much the whole time.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

BROCK LESNAR FANS!!!




Normally I'm not of the opinion that a person's personality tends to be similar to that of their favorite fighter. One notable exception seems to be the Brock Lesnar fan. I was recently accosted in the grocery store by a Lesnar fan. I was buying my MMA magazine, minding my own business, when out of nowhere I hear a voice say "You know hes going to lose, right?" I didn't have any idea what he was talking about, until I looked at my magazine and saw that there was a story on the front cover about Shane Carwin. I gave him a "go away" look, but he said it again. "You know hes going to lose right?" I finally looked at him, and told him I hoped that wasn't true. He said "Oh, you're a Carwin fan..." and rolled his eyes. I told him that I liked Carwin alright, but that I'd like anyone who had a chance at beating Lesnar. He rolled his eyes again and said "I don't understand why everyone hate Brock Lesnar so much!!!" Really? You don't? Maybe its because his fans accost people in the grocery store and rape their ears with unwanted opinions. Just saying...